I was 4 years old when angel came into the world. Living on sherill street during a time where we were not the most rich people this beautiful baby girl came into the world. My two cats her parents Jeffrey (her father) Princess (her mother). Jeffrey managed to get princess pregnant when he was just fixed by our grandfather who is a vet. He got away last min and made a last ditch effort and ended up having another litter of kittens. Angel was one of those babies smack dab in the middle. No one wanted her, she was the runt and because of that we were lucky enough to keep her. We slowly moved into more stable financial highs and moved into a new house with our cats on top of our grandmas cat lile a Siamese cat. Jeffrey was a very adventurous, Stubborn and lovable cat and princess was a stubborn princess. Jeffrey got into a fight being a outdoor cat and got very sickly we have to euthanize him, princess was taken from us by our aunt and uncle who did not have permission and gave her away to lollipop farm as well as lile. Angel was our last cat. I’ve always relied on animals to help me and guide me during times of hopelessness and sadness, she always was there to listen, always looked at me with concern and snuggled me till my tears dried. She was a loving cat who didn’t mind being not cuddled but when given attention was adoring, loving and a true angel sent to me. We grew up together and every night I thought there will be one day where my baby won’t be by my side anymore. She is tough like her father, always acting like her pain is no problem, she developed a cancerous tumor on her chest, ear and in her brain. She first started off with the one on her ear, she’s never been good with anesthesia but we took it off. She didn’t recover very well from that and because of that taking off her tumor on a 16 year old cat was out of the question. We let her be her until it became uncomfortable, she couldn’t move around the house and jump and play like she used to and she would bleed everywhere because of her tumor. I would cry every time I was with her because I felt to guilty for thinking that I would have to end her life. My family has always hidden animals deaths from me and it’s always been a problem for me, I wanted to be there for my baby in her last moments of life even if it won’t be the happiest one. She would always snuggle and pur on me (her purring and snoring sounded like a radiator) I loved her purs. She would look at me, rub her head on me and put her paw on my hand as if she really understood what was going on and that I can be okay with making that choice. I hung out with her and took as many pictures as I could before her resting date. Today 12/10/20 I woke up at 9:45 and went to have my final moments with my baby, we watched Narnia while I ate McDonalds for breakfast end just snuggled. The night before I stayed till 4 crying, praying that it wasn’t real and that she would still be with me. My grandpa came at 10:30 ish and I heard him come in the door. I started bawling cuz I knew there was no escaping today, I started petting her and she rubbed her head on me, looked at me with a stern and understanding expression and put her paw next to my tattoo on my arm that reads “let the tides rise and follow the stars in the sky” a quote I got during a time of me being lost and feeling as though life would not get better for me. I had this feeling that my world was gonna crash down and I was killing my own baby. My grandpa is a vet so he gave her some sleep meds which she did not do well with, puked up food and plastic because that’s what she decided to have for her last night. I cuddled her and pet her in attempt to calm her end be by her side because I was not letting her leave this world without me planted at her side. She was put on the kitchen table with a towel and I sat next to her petting her head and telling her I loved her trying not to hysterically cry. My grandpa put the injection into right arm and she less than 5 mins had peacefully let go. She is a soldier like her father and refused to go on her own, she accepted it so easily and I felt and still feel guilty about putting her down but I know she wouldn’t be looking at me that way. My angel is with her parents, with our family up in heaven somewhere looking down on me and watching me like the guardian angel she always has been. I cried and pet her with my family with me until I felt content enough to get up and leave. My mother wrapped her up in a a blanket and put her in a box so we could take her to pet passages. I didn’t want to leave her yet so I stayed with her the whole hour car ride there and back because as her mama I didn’t want to leave her alone. We went and I held her one last time, told her I loved her and that she is safe and healthy now. I cried on the way home and my mother set up a nail appt because she thought it would make me feel better. I got my nails done and came home, ate dinner, played video games, went and saw my friends at work for support and then came to see the email from pet passages. I almost cried seeing her paw print being done and even typing it now it difficult. I’ve always held things in and exploded with emotion and stress built up from everything going on in my life and her passing was a big trigger. But I made a promise that even though it’s difficult that I would make a life for myself and have her watch me grow into the person I want to be. Typing this right now I’m on the verge of tears but I wanted to express my story so that you know you are not alone. You each have individual stories and they are important, your pets are loved by you and are always with you. Here your needs and grieving and mourning are important so don’t feel like your alone. My baby is in great hands and I’m so glad that have learned about this place from my brother who went through the same thing with his pet snake noodle. It will be a difficult road but I promise through the rest of your life they will follow and love you. Take that into your heart and give love to yourself like they would’ve liked to see for you if they were still with you. That’s my angels life hope it was touching ❤️